Genesis 2
A sermon preached at Geraldton Anglican Cathedral on 17th October 2021
A young couple came to the Rectory to ask if I would marry them. They were both doctors, and hastened to explain that they were atheists. But they were not seeking marriage in a Christian church because they wanted a nice traditional venue; they wanted their marriage to be meaningful.
I replied that if there were no God then their marriage would not have meaning anyway, because without God everything is meaningless. Surprisingly, they agreed, but said that their marriage would have meaning for them. They had looked at other ways of marrying, but felt that Christian marriage was the only way that would give their marriage the significance they wanted for them.
I said I would be glad to marry them, provided they would allow the possibility that God might be real. Sadly, they decided to go elsewhere. I was warming to their honesty.
What is the meaning of marriage? Does marriage have meaning? These are questions we must ask today, because many are saying no: marriage is just a convention of society. Those who previously would have married are not bothering with it. They cannot see the fuss. Why not just move in together and share a bed for as long as it suits? Marriage has no great significance, not at least until they want children. On the other hand, same-sex attracted people are clamouring for it, as though it was a deeply significant thing.
So why are Christians so stuck on marriage? Why do they even see sleeping together outside of marriage as a sin? These are the things we want to explore today, and we find answers in the second chapter of the Bible.
Genesis 1 answers the question, “What is a human being?” It places us in the context of the cosmos of space and time, and the world of things and living things. It says that God made humans in his own image, and that he made them male and female, and commanded them to multiply and manage the world. This is what we might call a telescopic view. Genesis 2 gives us a microscopic view: it zooms in on one man and one woman in a garden somewhere in the east.
And the Lord God planted a garden in Eden, in the east, and there he put the man he had formed. And the Lord God took the man (Adam) and put him in the garden of Eden to work and protect it.
He is given instructions. He has free run of everything in the garden. The only thing that is off-limits is “the tree of the knowledge of good and evil”. And then we find that Adam is lonely. That is how I read it.
Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that Adam should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”
This raises an interesting question: Did God goof up? Was there a mistake in his design, that he then has to fix, by removing a rib and fashioning it into a woman? Obviously, that is not the answer. God designed the man to be incomplete, to have this need of companionship. God always intended that humans should need one another, and especially that a man should need his female friend-for-life. This is the first answer to our question about the meaning of marriage. Human beings were created for companionship. Fulfilment is not to be had alone.
Does this mean we are all meant to marry? Clearly not. We look to Jesus as the model of a perfect man and he didn’t marry. Nor did Paul, nor have many other great people. Paul sees celibacy as a gift—not for all. As a young man I greatly admired how much my unmarried mentor was able to get done. I had thoughts of remaining single myself. On one occasion I admitted this to him and thought he would be pleased. He told me not to be stupid—I didn’t know what I was talking about. I had no idea how lonely it could be. I learned from him that singleness is not easy, even for the person whose life is brim-full of people and activity. You still have to come home each night to an empty house. Eve was created to fill a void in Adam’s life. We could put it round the other way. Eve was also created with a void that Adam was meant to fill. But would this mean fulfilment? Partly, yes, but fulfilment will always be partial in this life. When Genesis 2:8 says God “put” Adam in the garden, it uses a word which means he gave him to rest. It suggest the fulfilment we will only find in the coming kingdom of God.
But why does God need to create a woman? Another way of saying this is, why does God need to make us male and female to counter our loneliness? Can it not be solved just by having friends? Do they have to be of the opposite sex? I am guessing here, but friends come and go. The friends you have when you are young will drift away as you grow older. God made the woman to be the complement of the man, such that a life-long relationship is possible and natural. One of the greatest problems of old-age is aloneness. Happy the man or woman who has married young, weathered the troubles of life together, learned to care and support one another, and are there for each other into old age. How tragic when one dies. But how much more tragic is the person who plays around throughout their youth and middle-age and is left alone for the rest of their life!
And the rib that the Lord God had taken from Adam he made into a woman and brought her to the man. Then Adam said, “This at last is flesh of my flesh and bone of my bone …”
In my book, Christian Family, I suggest that these are more naturally the words a woman would say at the birth of her first child: as they place the newborn on her bosom you can imagine her saying: “This at last is flesh of my flesh, and bone of my bones.” It truly is. So what does it mean for Adam to say these words to his wife? He is owning her as flesh and blood, as family, and this is a second clue to the meaning of marriage.
Marriage creates a new family. Genesis continues,
Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and glue to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
There is another odd thing here: in most cultures it is more common for a woman to leave her father and mother and come to her husband’s home, which is often with his parents. The husband’s father remains head of the extended family. The real head of the new family, at least until they move away, is the man’s father. This is patriarchalism. The Bible does not teach patriarchalism. It is not uncommon in Africa for a woman to become a virtual slave in the home of her in-laws. But Genesis 2 says, “A man shall leave his father and mother.” This is not about where they live. They may live with one or other of the old parents or somewhere else. The point is, the man draws away from his mother and father, joins together with his wife, and they are now flesh of each other’s flesh and bone of each other’s bone. They are one blood; they are family.
Now we can see how sadly wrong our own culture has gone. Easy divorce, plus affluence, plus the idea that what comes first is my happiness and fulfilment means a family can be dissolved because they are not getting on, or because husband or wife thinks they can be happier with someone else. Jesus calls this out for what it is, legal adultery. We treat the marriage bond as less than the belonging together of brother and sister, or a woman and her mother. Children do not matter, and the consequence is trauma that goes on into teenage years and adulthood. What was meant to be a happy world is littered with confused and sometimes violent young people, and mental unwellness becomes the new normal.
Let me speak to the couples among you. It would have to be pretty extreme for you to disown your brother or sister or father or mother. Do you see your husband or wife as less than that? Most marriages go through periods of unhappiness; that is no reason for divorce. Individuals go through stressful times; you work through it. A man and woman may need to live apart for a time, though I would rarely recommend it. That is not divorce, and the family can be healed. What kills a family is if one partner goes off with someone else. That is why Jesus says, that to divorce in order to remarry is adultery, though it was legal under Jewish law, and is under ours.
I have said that Genesis 1 gives us a cosmic view of man in the universe of time and things, where humans as male and female are made the rulers of the world. Genesis 2 zooms in on one couple in a garden, and gives us more about the relationship between them. Here we encounter a definite difference between the man and the woman: Adam comes first and Eve is brought to him as a helper. Something is being taught when it says a rib is taken from Adam and the place closed up with flesh. That indicates a weakness. The woman is made from the rib; that indicates a strength. We talk about husband and wife being complementary: they are different, and naturally belong together. This is confirmed many times in the New Testament.
The idea of subordination comes under fire in our culture which places equality at the forefront of everything. The truth is, there are no two things in the universe that are equal in all respects. There is even a scientific law to the effect. You need always to ask, “Equal in regard to what?” Equal before the law is correct. Equal in the way we receive salvation is also true. Equal pay for equal work is also good. But equal in physical strength? No. There are any number of women I wouldn’t want to mess with, but what Peter says in his first letter is true, that a man should live together with his wife with sensitivity (“according to knowledge) to her being “the weaker vessel”, “with respect” (“giving her honour”) “since you are fellow-heirs of the grace of life.” (1 Peter 3) Notice the equality: husband and wife are fellow-heirs of eternal life, and should treat each other with respect. They are different in strength and husbands should take care of their wives, not lord it over them.
Domestic abuse is in the spotlight. Shutting people into their homes has made it worse. Our society has a great problem here, and needs to find solutions. One cause of the problem is the unequal strength of men and women; you can blame God for this; it’s the way he has made us. But the real problem is sin, and failure to live according to God’s word. The two solutions which are constantly touted are education and equality. Education is partly about learning what is unacceptable, but the Bible and life both testify that knowing what is right does not keep us from doing wrong, especially in situations of stress. The insistence that equality is the answer is quite mistaken, and may turn out to be a contributing cause of the violence. I mean, men are equal to each other, are they not, but does that stop them fighting? Men compete with each other in order not to be equal. Where there is equality there will often be a power-struggle. At work we put people in different roles, and establish their levels to prevent them from fighting. So, if a woman is to be seen as equal, will she not need to struggle for her place, just like the men, and will this not lead in some cases to violence?
I want to comment on Genesis 3 where God says to the woman:
I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children, but your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.
This comes after Adam and Ever have sinned, and speaks of how things will be in the fallen world. We mustn’t therefore jump to making what is said here into a law. God is saying how it will be, not how it should be. The unequal strength of men and women makes it possible for a man to rule his wife by force. This is a fact. She needs him to protect her, but the price can be subjugation. The New Testament teaches husbands rather to care for their wives, and wives to willingly accept the leadership of their husbands in the family. You can judge whether you think this is a good arrangement or not; I suggest there will be a good deal less domestic violence if it is followed.
Let me fast-forward to Jesus. Marriage is a huge subject and I have only touched on a few points. I have written a little book called Christian Family which explores it in more detail. But I cannot leave the subject without touching on the New Testament’s teaching. Paul sees marriage as a symbol of the relationship between Christ and his Church. The Church is “the bride of Christ.” By “Church” he means the whole community of God’s children, who will not, of course, be gathered as a community until Jesus returns.
Hallelujah! For the Lord our God the Almighty reins. Let us rejoice and give him glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come, and his Bride has made herself ready … (Revelation 18)
This gives to marriage an incredible significance. The doctor couple I spoke of at the beginning were right. There is no other form of marriage that gives it the significance Christianity does. How important is it that we protect our marriages and work at them!
Jesus first miracle was to rescue a failed marriage in Cana of Galilee (John 2). At the human level this was accidental, but if we consider the providence of God it was not. God had married his people Israel in a covenant ceremony at Mt Sinai, but the marriage had failed. It had come to a point where God had divorced his people and sent them into exile. But, as he explained to the prophet Hosea, this would not be forever. He would one day return to his abandoned bride, woo her, and remarry her. All this lies behind God arranging that Jesus’ first miracle should be the rescue of a spoiled wedding-feast. Jesus changed over four hundred liters of ceremonial washing water into fine wine. Marriage is meaningful. The marriage of a man and a woman is blessed by God. Marriage is beautiful. Marriage is good for the human race. Christians treasure marriage and will promote it and seek to preserve it, no matter what the rest of society may do.